After a few months of absence, I'm back and ready to write again. I apologize for the break, but life happened with the force of a roundhouse kick to the face. That's the thing about life. It never slows down, bringing with it the good and the bad, and at times, a whole lot of darkness. But that's the beauty of it all. It's in our weakness that we can be made new. While we are at our strongest, we generally know who we are and can be nothing more or less than what we believe ourselves to be. In our moments of complete brokenness we can be molded and remade to reach a potential beyond our imagining.
Finding beauty in suffering is anything but easy. It's instinct to run from anything difficult or painful, but facing suffering and finding the goodness in it is not impossible. St. Faustina has been a great inspiration to me in times of trouble. She had a gift at making sense of pain and finding the fruits in it. I've looked to her for strength time and time again, and I definitely recommend her diary to all of you.
Since I enjoy writing, I'm a big fan of journaling, and sometimes when I journal I write letters to my future husband. I know, I know...super cheesy right? But I'm up to 15 letters now, and I suggest trying it out if you've never done it before. It seems kind of awkward at first. I mean, what are you supposed to say to someone you've never met? But you'll be surprised how much you have to say if you just start writing. I think it's beneficial to keep in mind that we are not sitting stagnate waiting for life to happen to us. We are constantly moving forward, whether we choose to or not. Writing these letters helps remind me that I'm moving toward something -- someone. It teaches me the value of patience, a virtue I wasn't naturally blessed with. So many of us struggle with loneliness, so we turn to other people and things to fill that space. This is just one way of many to remind yourself that God is with you and He has a plan if you'll only take His hand and let Him lead you. This is a little bit of what I wrote in one of these letters:
"Pasts are such funny things. They are the one thing I can think of that matters so much and, at the same time, not at all. They make us who we are -- cause our actions and guide our thoughts. They dictate what hurts us and what makes us smile. They mold us. They teach us. They help create our identity. So, in that, they matter. But when it comes down to loving a person, a past doesn't make a single bit of difference. When you love someone, it's the present that counts."
I wanted to share that with you because I think it's an important reminder to all of us to live in the now. That's what counts. Yesterday is over and done; tomorrow will be here soon enough. Live today and let go of yesterday.
